i'm afraid to live and not remember why

i just flipped my ical to december

and just about shit/cried/puked at how jam packed these next three weeks are with school b.s. until the evening of the 19th i seriously have zero time for fun/booze/concerts/sports. i’m going to go completely insane. fair warning.

also, pat is coming back from cali on the 11th, so this presents a problem. mostly where he will force me to have fun and i will agree and i somehow need to not fail school at the same time.

so the boy, as in the one i was hanging with from december until august 18th, has decided he wants to crash at my place tomorrow night. i have no idea what to feel/do about this. we’re still pretty legit friends, so maybe he wants to sleep on the couch? i don’t know? why are you doing this to me?

he’s still the greatest guy i know

laurenleebolek:

I need more friends with big hearts and big minds.
I want to spend time with people who have personalities that will brighten my present and my future
ones who don’t steal the energy from my being, but rather replace my current energy with something more powerful
ones who don’t judge me by any means, but respect me for every beautiful, upsetting, crazy thought I may have
ones who may not agree with everything I say, but who remain honest and open to different opinions and ideas.
ones who are willing to give the same effort to the relationship as myself
ones who don’t take effort to be around, but who I just click with
ones who love me fully for who I truly am, inside and out.
Maybe this is a lot to ask for…but I won’t stop searching until I find those beautiful, brilliant, wonderful individuals.

Stop making excuses.

jessicachu:

• If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
• If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
• Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
• Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that is not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
• If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no you can’t “be friends.” A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
• Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
• Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
• The only person you can control in the relationship is you.
• Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
• Maintain boundaries in how a man treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
• You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
• Don’t EVER make him feel like he is more important than you are… even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him a quasi-God.
• He is a man, nothing more, nothing less.
• Never let a man define who you are.
• Never borrow someone else’s man.
• If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
• A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
• All men are NOT dogs.
• You should not be the one doing all of the bending…. compromise is a two way street.
• You need time to heal between relationships… there is nothing cute about baggage… deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
• You should never look for someone to complete you… a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals… look for someone complimentary… not supplementary.
• Dating is fun…. even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
• Make him miss you sometimes… when a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily avaliable to him- he takes it for granted.
• Never move into his mother’s house.
• Never co-sign for a man.
• Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.